Coco Chanel Quotes

“Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. ”

Coco Chanel

Read More

There is no key to happiness...

There is no key to happiness...
The door is always open...

 

Read More

How to Connect with the Men in Your Life

Nine ways to get him to open up...

It's not as if you always need to know how your husband feels about you or his childhood or his purpose here on earth. And it's not as if you want to spend hours on the phone with your dad, uncle, brothers or old college friends. Sometimes you just want one of them to weigh the merits of salad spinners. To help open the lines of communication between you and the men you love, we interviewed three experts to find the most effective ways to get them talking.

1.Approach him from the side. 

Walking straight up to a man and sitting down directly across from him can trigger his competitive instincts, says executive coach Carol Kinsey Goman, PhD, who counsels business leaders on nonverbal communication. She says that while women prefer talking to each other in a "squared up" position (i.e., across from each other), two men talking casually are more likely to angle their bodies away from each other. You'll have a better chance of getting your dad to talk about his golf game by doing dishes with him at the sink or plopping down next to him on the couch.

2.Go for a walk, or play a game of tennis. 

Women are usually more comfortable than men with the idea that spending time together will involve talking, says Diane Gehart, PhD, professor of marriage and family therapy at California State University, Northridge. A lot of that has to do with how we spent time with other kids when we were young. "Many men learned to develop connections through shared activities," says Gehart. As boys, they bonded while engaging in sports, playing video games or skateboarding; girls took part in sleepover gossip-a-thons. For evidence that these roles have carried over to adulthood, count the groups of women versus men the next time you go for brunch (an event that revolves around eggs, coffee and face-to-face chatter). Another reason that talking while walking—or hiking or driving—can be easier for you both is that it provides ready-made conversation fodder. For example, "Did you see that deer?" or "Did you see that Prius?"

3.Wait until you can actually hear each other before starting the conversation.

Yes, we just said to do activities together. And we're not advising you to stay away from sports bars or rock concerts. (Your instincts to meet him on his home turf are right on: That's where he hangs out with his friends.) But most men don't do much catching up at these places, at least until the game or the show is over, so you can't really expect to engage him until then either.

4.Sprawl when he sprawls. 

"Mirroring" is the term used to describe the technique of subtly copying another person's postures to build rapport. "When I was a therapist, I often used mirroring to help make clients more comfortable talking to me," says Goman. You're not trying to mimic all his movements. If he has one arm slung across the back of the couch, you might uncross your arms and legs. The idea is to show empathy through body language. This should put you both at ease, allowing conversation to flow more naturally.

5.Smile often—but don't expect him to smile back. 

Good moods and enthusiasm are contagious. Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a professor of psychology at the University of Akron in Ohio who specializes in getting men to open up, says that his clients often tell him how much they enjoy it when women smile at them. "It makes them feel liked, keeps them engaged and builds their confidence," he says—and it puts them in a chatty mood. But unlike women, who usually react to a smile by beaming back, Levant says that you should be aware that men are far less likely to reciprocate.


6.If you want an answer, ask a question. 

When working with male and female executives, Goman has noticed that men are less animated than women in conversations; they don't nod as often or make as many affirmative sounds, like "mm-hmm." (Studies on gender differences in nonverbal communication back her up.) Some men, especially those who were raised in an earlier era with more traditional ideas about masculinity, think that listening means quietly giving your full attention to the speaker, says Gehart. This lack of feedback makes some women think men aren't really listening. Gehart suggests soliciting his opinions with direct questions ("Did you finish that Swedish crime novel, Dad? What did you like about it?") instead of with open-ended statements ("Oh, you're reading that Dragon Tattoo book too").

7.When you really want to hash something out, avoid loaded phrases. 

They're the phrases we fall back on: "We need to talk" or "Can I talk to you for a minute?" or "Come sit down." They somehow sound ominous even when you're using your kindliest, I-swear-I'm-not-angry voice, and they always make him think that this is going to get ugly. A better idea, Gehart says, is to ease into a contentious conversation by acknowledging his position (especially when it's different from yours) and showing empathy. This is one way to bring up the idea of a vacation you know he's opposed to: "I understand why you don't want to spend extra money right now, but I also know that you've been working hard and need a break." This next part is key: Explain your thinking behind the request, as well as the benefits it will bring him. "I also need a break, and getting out of town really helps me relax in a way that a 'staycation' doesn't. You've mentioned that you feel the same way." Then finish with the thing you want: "That's why I think we should book that trip to Paris." Gehart says that another strategy involves having a mini-conversation about the bigger discussion you know you two need to have. For example, instead of "We need to talk about where we're spending Thanksgiving this year," you could try, "I know you don't want to talk about Thanksgiving, and honestly, I don't either, but it's just around the corner. Let me know when you're ready to discuss it—I want to make sure I'm prepared with a glass of wine in case things get tense."

8.Turn a complaint into a request. 

Marital researchers have found that in 70 percent of the situations in which heterosexual couples are unhappy, women will be more likely to initiate a dispute and request change, while men will tend to withdraw, avoid and stonewall their partners. This communication style is self-perpetuating: As she continues to make demands, he withdraws further. What's more, Gehart says, women are more likely than men to bring up a negative topic by criticizing their partner. Even if you're dying to tell him exactly what he did wrong, focus instead on explaining how to do it right and why that's important for you both. "Try to make it a positive, specific request," says Gehart, and avoid "you never" or "you always" (no matter how many times we hear this advice, we always seem to forget it when we're frustrated). Instead of "You never dry the dishes and put them away," try "It would really help me out if, after you rinse the dishes, you'd dry them and put them away. I know it takes some extra time, but that would make my morning a thousand times easier."

9.When emotions escalate, take a time-out. 

During a heated argument, a verbal attack can prompt the release of adrenaline. Our heart starts racing, our blood pressure rises and our stress level increases. As soon as the heart is beating more than 100 times per minute, Gehart says, our fight-or-flight instincts kick in, and we start looking for an escape. Men are more likely to feel defensive in a conversation because (as we mentioned before) women are socialized to talk things out. When his voice rises and his face turns red, give up—for now. Your instinct may be to comfort him by touching him, but this can backfire. "Some men feel overwhelmed by these intense feelings, and they physiologically can't handle your touch," says Levant. It takes men longer to recover from these types of emotional flare-ups, so don't expect to dive back in for a few more hours. Even better, wait for him to initiate the conversation. It's likely he will—remember, even if he doesn't like the topic, he likes you and wants you to be happy.

Source: www.oprah.com

Read More

An apple a day may add days to your life

Want to live longer? You might want to stock on Apples from now on.
According to a study done by scientists from the Chinese University of Hong Kong found that eating an apple a day may increase an individual’s lifespan by up to 10 percent.

The researchers studied fruit flies, which share a lot of genes with humans, and gave them apple extract for the duration of the study.
According to the study, the fruit flies given apple extract lived 10 percent longer than those which were not. The scientists say that antioxidants, called polyphenols, found in apples may be the cause of the observations.
The study also found that the flies fed with apple extract had an easier time walking, climbing and generally moving as they became more mature.
Chemicals related to age and deterioration were also reduced in the flies fed with apple extract. It might prove beneficial to those who have Alzheimer’s disease and may also help stop the development of colon cancer.

Read More

50 Ways To Change Your Future

1. Learn a foreign language. There are many reasons to learn a foreign language, whether it be for overseas travel, work, or simply to challenge yourself. A great way to do this is with these free podcasts .

2. Read about a subject you wouldn’t normally. This is a great way to develop a better understanding of the world. It will also make you a more interesting person in the process.

3. Start a blog. It’s free and easy to start blogging. Tell the world what’s on your mind, develop an idea or track your progress. The possibilities are endless...

4. Turn off the TV. TV seems to have a passive, hypnotic effect on people. This is a worry when you consider that much of it consists of violent crime shows, dumbed down sitcoms and brainwashing commercials. Plus think of everything you could do with all that free time if you stopped, or at least cut down on, watching TV.

5. Wake up early. Use the extra time from waking early to read inspirational books, review your goals and envision the life you want.


6. Get fit. Increased strength, mental clarity and self-confidence are just some of the benefits of improving your physical fitness. You will also live longer.


7. Tell a loved one how you feel about them. Why wait until it’s too late until you tell your loved ones how you feel about them?

8. Get married. It’s certainly not a necessity to be married in this day and age, but it is still a nice sign of commitment to eachother.

9. End a bad relationship. It can be extremely hard to feel stuck in a bad relationship. If you can’t see a future together, why not cut your losses and move on? It’s a cliché, but there really are plenty of fish in the sea.

10. Start a budget. A budget is a plan that allocates future income towards expenses, savings, investments and debt repayment. They do not have to be rigid and complicated. Getting Finances Done has written a good guide to Creating a Zero-Based Budget.

11. Become a parent. This is guaranteed way to change the way you view life. When you realise that you will have to care for, and be a model to, another human being you will truly want to be the best person you possibly can.

12. Drink less alcohol. This can improve your physical, mental and financial health.

13. Declutter your life. It’s easy to become overwhelmed by clutter, both physical and mental. Declutter your physical surroundings by going through your clothes and other possessions and see what you no longer need. Sell them on Ebay, or simply give them away. Mental clutter is things like unfinished projects, a crammed schedule or negative people who drain our energy. You can clear your mental clutter by listing everything that is troubling you and then crossing each one off as you deal with it.


14. Create a vision board. This is one of the most powerful ways to get the Law of Attraction to work for you. A vision board is basically a collage of pictures of the goals and dreams you want to attract in your life. Alex Shalman has written a good article on how to create a vision board using a practical approach.

15. Phone a friend. Sometimes the human connection can be lost in emails, instant messaging and text messaging. Why not pick up the phone and talk to your friend? Even better, use Skype.


16. Travel. Travel will expose you to new places, new cultures, new people and new ideas. For information, inspiration and advice I recommend the Thorntree Forums from Lonely Planet.

17. Stop lurking. There are many benefits to being an active contributor on the Internet. ;)

18. Take up photography. It an interest in photography will change the way you view the world. You will begin to really notice the details of your surroundings, appreciate the beauty of the world, and the quirks of everyday life. For inspiration check out TrekEarth.

19. Eat healthy food. Healthy food nourishes the body and gives us energy to get through each day. Need some ideas >>> 100 quick and easy healthy foods.



20. Never eat alone. This simple idea is a great way to network, without feeling like a desperate glad-handler.

21. Save 10- 20% of your income. 22. Improve you memory. A good memory is a powerful and valuable asset. Brain games, exercise, and reading are just a few of the ways you can keep your memory strong. For further tips, read this article titled 10 Ways to Keep Your Memory Strong.

23. Study. There are endless benefits to both formal and informal study. Some of these include: enhancing your career prospects, developing skills and subject knowledge, and personal growth and satisfaction.

24. Start a business. If you want to be a millionaire one day, you may want to consider how be self-employed. In The Millionaire Next Door the authors Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko write: Who is the prototypical American millionaire?… About two-thirds of us who are working are self-employed. Interestingly, self-employed people make up less than 20 per cent of workers in America but account for two-thirds of the millionaires.

25. Write out your short, medium, and long term goals. The act of writing down your goals make them far more likely to happen.

26. Be creative. We all possess the potential for creative expression. Many of us, however, do not believe we are creative or don’t know what outlet we should use to express our creativity. You do not have to paint a picture to be creative, rather everyday tasks such as cooking a meal, making a presentation at work or dressing yourself can be done in a creative manner. This is a good article on How to Be Creative from Gaping Void.

27. Ask for a pay raise. Many people feel they are underpaid for the work they do. But have they actually asked for a raise? If this is you, make sure you ask the right way. Follow the steps in this article for success.

28. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. Waiting for the bus, standing in a queue and traveling in a lift are all great examples of when you can strike up a conversation with a stranger. Why bother? Well, it’s a simple way to connect with another human being. And sometimes a stranger can change your life in a way you could have never imagined.

29. Get a makeover. When you look great, you feel great. Simple really.

30. Take a mini-retirement. Tim Ferris advocates freeing yourself from the daily grind by taking a “mini retirements”. Basically this entails traveling to one place for one to six months before going home or moving to another locale. You can find out more about this idea in his book The 4-Hour Workweek.

31. Invest. Investing your money is the best way to ensure you meet longer-term financial objectives, such as saving for retirement or your child’s education. Its fairly easy to start investing, and you can begin with as little as $1,000.

32. Learn to dance. It will help you meet new people, stay fit, overcome shyness and make you feel more comfortable in social situations.

33. Leave each person you come into contact with better than you found them. Even something as simple as a smile or a compliment can make someone else’s day.

34. Review your day each night before going to sleep. This is a great way to track whether or not you are living your life in accordance with your principles and goals. The habit was best advocated by the Benjamin Franklin.

35. Find your life purpose.

36. Learn a musical instrument. No I can’t play an instrument, but it’s high up on my list of things to do. I am told the benefits are that it teaches discipline, relieves stress, gives a sense of achievement, is fun and makes you look cool (well, some instruments…).

37. Be green. Recycling, going carbon neutral and using public transport are just a few examples of how we can make a difference to the environment. If you haven’t already seen it, watch Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth for inspiration.

38. Volunteer. Apart from making a difference in someone else’s life and/ or helping the environment, volunteering will improve your life by helping you to meet new people, develop new skills, build self-confidence and feel valued.

39. Don’t just be good, be great.

40. Write a personal mission statement. Think of a Personal Mission Statement as a solid expression of your vision and values. In his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey writes: Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behaviour with your beliefs.

41. Develop multiple streams of passive income. Passive income is income that does not require your direct involvement. Familiar examples include income from a rental property and royalties from either an invention or creative work. This is a good article for those who wish to learn more. You may also like to consider that relying one a single source of income is risky.

42. Donate to charity. No matter how much financial trouble you are in, I can guarantee you there are people worse off than you. Donating to a good cause helps make the world a better place and will make you feel better about yourself. It’s a Win-Win outcome.

43. Do it now. What is it? This only something you will know. But here is a clue: it is what you keep putting off till tomorrow, or next week, or next year….

44. Become a good public speaker. Whether it is to make a speech at a wedding, or an important presentation in the workplace, the ability to capture the attention of your listeners is an invaluable skill. Toastmasters is a worldwide organisation dedicated to helping people develop this skill.

45. Forgive others for pain they may have caused you. No matter what someone has done to us in the past, if we cannot learn to forgive them then our anger, bitterness and despair will control our lives.

46. Be passionate. Having a passion for life will provide you with direction and focus, create energy, foster creativity, inspire action and heighten performance.

47. Remember a few good jokes. Everyone loves to laugh. Having a few good jokes up your sleeve can help break the ice when you meet new people.

48. Find a new job. Do you feel trapped in a boring, soul destroying job? It doesn’t have to be like that that.

49. Relax. As I have written about here, stress has the potential to damage our health and relationships. Some ways to relax are by going for a walk, curling up on the coach and reading a good book, having a warm bath, listening to chilled out music and getting a massage.

50. Spend less time on the computer. Don’t let the Internet take over your life. Spending too much time online can make you less productive, damage relationships and is not good for your health.

And with that, I’m done…. :) Good luck! :)

Read More